Managing Transitions
Transitions are simply changes from one activity, task, demand, or location, to another.
They can be particularly difficult for anyone with ADHD and can have a big impact on family life and daily functioning.
We can think of 2 different types of transition; Micro or small-scale changes, and macro or large-scale changes.
Micro-transitions
These often occur quite frequently, even several times during the average day. For example, breakfast is a time of multiple transitions and is often described their families as being particularly problematic, not just for the child or young person with ADHD, but for the rest of the family.
Even getting out of bed in the morning and transitioning from sleep to wakefulness can be a major challenge, as can getting dressed and getting organised for the day. This does not just apply to school age children, but to adults as well!
Whilst there are no simple solutions, and every family will have a different set of challenges on a daily basis, some simple techniques can be useful and are in a sense, similar to those used for developing good sleep hygiene, but in reverse:
Try wherever possible to establish a very clear routine
Understand your child’s needs as an individual. For example, do they prefer a lot of stimulation first thing in the morning or do they prefer to be left alone?
Keep a check on the time but try to do so in a humorous rather than demanding way.
Avoid confrontation
Use simple visual timetables or checklists to prompt your child
Try to moderate tone of voice and body language, according to the mood of your child at the time, even if internally. You may be becoming increasingly frustrated and impatient
Try to defuse and de-escalate sibling arguments before they become heightened
There are many other micro transitions during the course of the day that your child will have to negotiate, including the journey to school, moving between lessons and break times, and dealing with social transitions amongst his or her peer group.
Bear these in mind before placing yet more transitions in front of them when they arrive home exhausted!
There is little harm in allowing downtime at the end of the school day, but a major transition that occurs very frequently in households affected by ADHD is the transition away from screen time and your battles will be much easier to ‘fight’ if clear boundaries are established a very early age, and long before problems may arise.
There is no harm in setting strict limits or even shutting down the Wi-Fi network at a particular time.
Each child and each family is different, so generalising is impossible. However, a balance must be struck to ensure that children and young people become more resilient to transitions and are better able to manage them later in life.
Other micro-transitions:
mealtimes
bedtimes
getting ready for outings or activities
changing clothes
Macro-transitions
These are much bigger in scale and thus tend to occur less frequently. For this reason, they are often difficult to plan for, or rehearse, and to establish in a routine way.
Examples of macro-transitions:
changing schools and moving from primary to secondary, or from secondary to college/work
family bereavement
moving home
losing a pet
going on holiday
The most important thing to remember when communicating to your child about any of the above, and where possible, planning and explaining what is going to happen, is to remember that they will only assimilate small amounts of information and will forget much of what you tell them.
Top tips:
Try to get into the habit of recording on paper short notes that they can refer to later.
Provide them with the lists that they need (for example, in terms of what they need to pack to go on holiday) and don’t expect a 14-year-old with ADHD to have the organisational skills of his peers. His brain is 2 to 3 years behind in terms of maturation and he will need additional support to get things right and thus avoid creating difficulties for himself and others.
As always when communicating with young people will have ADHD, try to make things as concrete as possible by, for example, using an actual calendar rather than talking about dates.
Search for and recognise small successes rather than gravitating towards any organisational failures.
Appreciate that there may be heightened emotions at times of change and that these may express themselves in anger , which can often be directed at the very people who are helping them.
You need the patience and willpower of a saint. but it is worth it if in negotiating these major changes, your own quality of life and that of your child are not adversely affected to the same degree that they might be otherwise.